her vagine was all disorganized.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
