no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
