im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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