I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
