I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
