He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
