Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
