I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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