I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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