A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
