I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think your dad took our porno
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
