Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
