He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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