no, he came in my armpit
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize