): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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