it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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