My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
