You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
