Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
