I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
