I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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