I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
