dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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