i don't like sucking hair
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
