it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She bit a glass in half.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
