I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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