I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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