garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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