You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
