mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
