That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
