Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
