You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
