i just had sex bonerless
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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