you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
