dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
being pregnant is like rehab
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
