He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
