escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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