careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
