YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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