quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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