I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The beers last night were like the tears from god
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
