We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize
