I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
