new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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