I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
