I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
