They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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