just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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