I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
